2016 has been a pretty mad year and there’s been so much going on I haven’t had time to pen my thoughts regards transitioning and everything around it.
However the biggest mountain to climb has been repackaging the masculinity within me. What with being born and growing up as a male I was socially conditioned / programmed to act what is considered manly. For many years it’s been hard work to break that social conditioning and repackage it so I could embrace the feminine side of me which has been waiting to burst out for years.
It hasn’t been easy as that social conditioning is there everywhere you go. It’s impossible to escape it as everything is geared to keep you in control. It’s May 2016 and I feel in both my head and my heart I’ve gotten to where I need to be. For me that’s a relief.
However there’s still more work to be done and it’s thanks to feminism that has helped me along the way. Feminism has helped me a long a road that has seen me take abuse etc simply because I’ve rejected being how a man should act. As you can see from the above photo it’s not just about the clothes but what goes on inside too! You can see from the above photo I’m very happy.
I wish more men would repackage their masculinity. There would be much less rape, less violence towards women and other things what men are conditioned to do!
So what about love? To be honest I wasn’t looking for another relationship. The two long term ones I had previously ended in disasters on the grand scale of something along the lines of the Titanic sinking! I really wasn’t bothered either way.
However I met Krystine a very cool trans woman. We hit it off from the very start and it wasn’t too long before we became an item. It’s been fun and very passionate so far. I think me being more laid back and being very feminine has made me look at relationships differently. We both love each other and hopefully at some stage we will be living together before the year is out!
We’re happy and we talk and laugh lots. There’s also serious issues too. It works. There’s nothing like falling asleep with my arms and legs wrapped around Krystine. She’s awesome. I love her X. The only hassle we have sharing a bed is my dog Mollie gets all excited and bounces all over us. When that hound comes crashing down you know about it!
For those not aware I’ve been making a documentary with a local independent production team regards my transitioning. It’s very open and direct where I’ve been interviewed and where I’ve also engaged with the general public. In the above photo this is where we met Sue (I hope I got her name correct) who took part in the documentary. It will be out later this year so watch out for it!
Other things that have happened. Well a couple of months ago you all probably read about the grief I had from work and the suspension I had to serve. If not then go back in the blogs to read about that! To conclude my company had found I had done nothing wrong. In fact they offered me the opportunity to put in complaints against other colleagues which I declined on the basis I had enough!
Going back to embracing the feminine side and carrying it well I haven’t experienced much transphobia. If I have it’s been done under people’s breath or done behind my back! It’s as if people have backed off somewhat. Maybe at times the ‘Don’t fuck with me’ look works!
There’s other things which I wanted to write in this blog but I’ve decided to keep those issues as they really need their own pages.
Finally Spring arrived today so Mollie and I were enjoying the rays. Here we are on a walk!
Thanks for reading – Much love to you all x