Happy New Year!
This is the first blog in 2016. It’s been ages since I wrote something so tonight I decided it was time to start writing again!
First off the latter part of 2015 took a serious turn which legally I can’t talk about but a period in which left me feeling very depressed. All over some one being transphobic and taking their hate to a new level! It was sorted at the very end of 2015 but not without 6 weeks of worrying!
Roll on 2016 and it started with a bang!
I’d been looking forward to seeing the Danish Girl for a while. New Years Day came and I headed towards the cinema with all kinds of feelings. The film itself didn’t really do enough for me. There wasn’t enough in the movie to grab me and keep my attention. Great acting and maybe others will find it a fascinating movie but it wasn’t for me!
As the film ended I got up to leave my seat and as I was walking out the theatre a member of the audience behind me made a rather derogatory transphobic comment about me to his wife. Unbelievable really bearing in mind he was watching the same movie as I was! It got me thinking why a transphobe would want to watch a movie about a transgender woman?!!
I also didn’t understand the amount of transgender people who slated the Danish Girl but on admission hadn’t seen it. They were basing their opinions on hearsay rather than watching it and making their own observations.
It was great to see a trans woman say these words about the Danish Girl. Their post on social media was everything I wanted to say.
Sometimes people look into things too deeply and try to find offence when in reality there is nothing about the Danish Girl that could possibly offend! It certainly wasn’t like the Stonewall movie.
Just go and watch it!
Saturday 9th January I headed off to Stoke to meet up with the very cool Lindsay a photographer I met on Purple Port. While we didn’t take many photos Lindsay was amused at how many folks would stop and just stare at me! All these people had to do was stop and ask me about being transgender! I don’t bite!
Yesterday (Sunday 10th January) I ventured out on a cold winters day to take some photos of a friend as she was going to an event dressed as Carrie. On the way back I ventured off elsewhere and bumped into a trans couple. They told me I should dress like a lady and not like a slut. It was sad they obviously believed the patriarchal view of how a woman should look like. Secondly what is a slut? Just because someone enjoys plenty of sex with multiple partners doesn’t give anyone the right to judge!
How can the trans community expect others to accept us when we don’t even accept each other? There seems to be a lot of policing of how one should look in the trans community as if it’s some sort of competition. Maybe that’s why I avoid the trans community on most part as I’ve got better things to do with my life than judge others!
I was also pointed in the direction of far right media man Milo Yiannopolous who no doubt was trying to link my support of refugees with rape culture and what has been happening in Copenhagen. What Mr Yiannopolous fails to understand about rape is these horrible crimes are committed by men of all nationalities all over the world. It isn’t a crime that is exclusive to men fleeing war in Syria for example! Why anyone gives Yiannopolous the time of the day is beyond me?
Onto the positives. I am transgender and proud. I carry myself with confidence and have a laugh too. When I was in Stoke I was taken to Vintage Curious Closet which is a great little shop filled with lots of cool things. I enjoyed my time there and was asked to pose for the above photo for their store. I clicked with Gabby from the very start. A very cool person.
I do get complimented by many women on how I identify and dress. It is great being complimented and experiencing great conversation. It could be about anything from make-up to perfume to clothes and experiences. Sometimes women open up about their own bad experiences with the male sex. It’s through these conversations I’ve pointed women in the direction of the Freedom Programme, Rape Crisis and Women’s Aid.
I’m glad I came out as transgender. As well as finding peace with myself I’ve managed to help others. That is important. Hopefully that will continue.
So we’re into 11 days of 2016 and these are just some of the good and bad experiences I’ve had.
So what next? There’s lots to write about. My next blog will be on why I feel the need to explain why the trans community need our own safe spaces, our own refuges and why we need to organise on our own away from the feminist and the LGB communities. That is coming very soon as there’s so much to say!
There’s also humour too. Mad stories like how I end up in grave yards taking photo’s for friends for events they’re heading off too! Here’s Caitlin dressing up as a Carrie the horror movie character with her friend Kayne.
God knows what people thought when they were passing by?!!
On a more serious note I’ve decided to open this blog up to women who want to tell their own stories of domestic violence, sexual assault and rape. A few women who I’ve met asked me if I could open this blog up to them and I felt very humbled these women felt safe around me to ask me. Their stories in their own words will be added to the blog when they feel the strength to want to do this.
As ever thank you for reading and best wishes for 2016.