I see lots of posts from with the LGBT community in regards to being ostracised from their families. Some of them are very heart breaking all for what? Their families being bigots! In my opinion you’re better off without them. You should be able to live your lives without bigotry. Your families should know better!
My story with my mother is a weird one. It’s been a volatile relationship. From a young age she wanted me to become an accountant. Instead I found punk rock and politics. It was the same for my two brothers. Always wanting to live her life through us! Despite all that I always remembered her birthday, Xmas and Mother’s day. I would visit her as often as once a week when I moved out the family home. When my mother moved out to Cyprus I made sure I skyped / called her once or twice a week. In other words I did the right thing!
Roll on Summer 2014 I had a laugh on Facebook about eating some free yoghurts in Asda supermarket and leaving the empty packaging on top of a freezer there. Some of my family couldn’t wait to go running off to her complaining. Everyone else found it funny. All of a sudden there was silence! I’d committed the cardinal sin of having a couple of free yoghurts off a multi-national company. Oh dear!
Xmas day 2014 I came out to my family that I was transgender. I never made a big deal out of it. I just turned up wearing pretty much the clothes I usually wear and if anyone had any questions they could ask me. In fact it’s safe to say most of my family knew about me being transgender before then as I’d opened up in early December 2014. Some of my family couldn’t wait to get on the telephone and tell her! It’d have been nice to have heard it from me but as she was being her usually stubborn self it was impossible to communicate with her.
Early 2015 my brother asked me to go out to Cyprus with him. It was a bit of a strange evening as this was the first time in years all 3 brothers were together in the same room. They phoned our mother to inform her of us all being together. My younger brother then informed her that I was coming out to Cyprus with him to visit. Our mother’s reply was she would call the police and have me arrested if I came to her house! My brother passed the phone onto me and on saying “Hello mum” she slammed the phone down.
That was the last time we spoke.
At this moment in time my mother is stopping with her grand-children less than 10 minutes drive from my house. She’s been in the UK for a week now. Total silence!
I’ve been told she refuses to call me by my chosen name Hope. Instead she refers to me as Stephanie which is a female take on my birth name Stephen.
On the basis of all that I came to the conclusion that blood isn’t always thicker than water. What is important are the friends who love you for being you. For me that’s all that matters. I’d already decided I wanted my friends around me. Why on earth would I put a transphobic bigot ahead of my friends despite this woman giving birth to me?
The same goes for the rest of my family too. If they want to hate me because I’m transitioning then feel free to join my mother. Life is too short to hold grudges. In fact I wouldn’t be bothered. Your loss!
The time I have left on this planet I want to enjoy being me. I want to get the most out of my life. I don’t want to hide away sulking over my family, I want to go out being around people who enjoy being around me. These are the people important to me and they should be the people important to you too!
Don’t Go Breaking Your Hearts – Enjoy Your Lives!
Never sell yourselves short for anyone. Whether you be LGBT or any other binary. You’re you! You’re unique! Love you all!
A lovely supportive e-mail to me from a friend.
That’s all the validation I need to confirm to me blood is not thicker than water. It’s friends that count the most! I
I’m not going to apologise for wanting to be me!
Photo’s: Some of my awesome friends who’ve been there and supported me – Thank You X